Dear Pot Smoker

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Dear Pot Smoker,

Congratulations on recreational use of Weed being legal in Colorado, something you had absolutely nothing to do with. Contrary to what you think, posting a “4/20 LOL” Facebook status on April 19th and blaring Bob Marley albums out of your mom’s Durango did little, if not nothing, to push the legal use of casual pot smoking.

I don’t know why you are so happy, considering you live in Missouri, where pot is STILL illegal to smoke. But knowing you to be as cunning as a dead fox, that won’t stop you from attempting to fire up a fatty through a Mountain Dew can and then proceed to slur the phrase “smoke the Dew” to everyone within a two-step walking distance. You are a pathetic piece of garbage and I wish nothing but the worst for you, Pot Smoker.

You are literally the worst person to talk to at any party, Pot Smoker. You have nothing to contribute to the conversation; all you talk about is Ron Paul and how the founding fathers smoked weed. Besides who voices every character from Aqua Teen Hunger Force and the operation hours of the Taco Bell drive-thru , you don’t know anything else.

Why are you the way you are, Pot Smoker? Do you like dressing like a homeless person from Jamaica? Do you like being the one person everyone looks at when someone smells something foul? Do you really think people are interested in hearing about all the times you got high, even though every story is the same? We get it, you lit up, forgot you put pizza bagels in the oven and then next thing you know, the smoke alarm is going off from the burnt pizza bagels and you’ve just finished the second Ninja Turtles Movie.

I hate you

Tim Godfrey

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2 thoughts on “Dear Pot Smoker

  1. Anthony D. 'Tony' Grana.

    UK/ 3 Jan.,2014.Friday, 7:15 pm-GMT. Temp.45F.
    Hello Tim, Happy New Year, Hope You received my animated e-greeting cards. Glad to see an read your 1st article for the New Year. You picked an excellent Topic… A Shame that Colorado has ‘Legalised’ mind-bending drugs… Pot-heads will be living in an un-real world… We know/read that ‘weed’ does in some instances have a ‘Medically’ Valid Use… But the ‘legalisation’ will open the gates for younger individuals to ‘try weed’… Just as the 1st ‘PUFF’ of a Cigarette… led to Addiction (the tobacco Industry uses many ‘ingredients’ to cause addition).
    Life-Long addiction to Cigarette Smoking…does lead to THE BIG “C” CANCER, OF THE MOUTH, TONGUE, THROAT OR LUNGS… frequently to an early DEATH…
    Best Wishes and Success in your multiple career choices… Comedy and Journalism…
    Cheers!!!

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